I balance cautiously
between floor tiles on the tips of my toes
avoiding the pain
of broken glass around me.
Razor sharp
icebergs float atop the polished white kitchen floor
in unplanned
polka-dot patterns.
“Don’t move” a
voice yells from beside the refrigerator
but I can’t
see them and I don’t try to.
My three foot
five inch frame stands frozen
on my tiny
left foot in a pirouette turnout,
waiting for a
rescue that’s imperative to arrive.
“Maybe just one
step” I think to myself.
I’ve never
felt the temptation of pain
beyond ripping
a Band-Aid, so this is alluring to all my senses.
The sound of
its crash from the countertop, shattering the silence
to fill it
with the tumbling of diamond sparkled piano scales.
The window
light as it echoes against the fogging dust of glass,
covering me in
Tinkerbelle glitter. I stick out my hand
to catch its
soft sugar like consistency,
but feel the intrusion
of a prickling itch.
Unable to
contain myself, I surrender
to my
curiosity and begin to take a step. Slowly,
I inch my
right foot down until it’s parallel with the floor
and I begin to
shift what little weight I have. Quick
spikes of pain
from my toes
to my heel, from my heel up my leg
until I begin
to feel the creeping chill of pain on the back of my neck.
I look down to
see the clean white floor compromised
as dark red
rivers flow outward from beneath my foot.
I take another
step to bring my feet together and better my balance.
My fascination
of this pain leaves my lips in a paralyzing silence
as my nervous
system twitches in a panicking overload.
My rush of
adrenaline begins to decease
as the corners
of my eyes glisten in tears.
A feeling of
deceit shakes through my core
as I stare
angrily at my pretty sugar cubed glittering glass.
My bottom lip
begins to quiver as small pouts emerge.
“Mom!” I cry,
“Mommy!”
A fresh faced
woman darts around the corner and gasps
as her vision
makes its way from my reddened eyes to my blood puddled feet.
“Oh, sweetie,”
she empathizes and rushes towards
with her Birkenstock armored feet. In one fell
swoop
she scoops me into her arms and erases my pain.
I bury my head
into her shoulder
as she strokes my long brown hair, rocking me back and forth.
Her soft
humming distracts my agony as my whimpers dwindle.
I pray for the warm comfort between these skinny pair of arms to
never let me go.
never let me go.
She is my
protector, my consoler, my adorner,
she is mine
and I am hers,
always.
